I've known a lot of people over the years who have hated "God." Even those who have disavowed His existence. Funny thing is, they hated that which they claimed did not exist.
I've heard a lot of the argument that it's inconsistent an all-loving or all-wise God would create such a flawed world, and allow such terrible, unjust suffering.
I still don't have the answers. But I'm getting some ideas that are beginning to make sense, now.
My personal recovery pathway has shown me that the process of suffering, the experience of a shattered heart and pulverized inner-self are portholes to a larger way of living and richer means of interacting with others in our world. Something about the pain and trauma, and healing, from this state opens up new levels of existence, in my experience.
I think it's when one gets a glimpse of the new levels of existence that one can look back and be thankful for the experience of the pain. Perhaps we will not ever be thankful for the pain and trauma, but yet learn to be thankful for the experience of it.
The imagery of a spine comes to mind, versus a thigh bone, here. In the case of a thigh bone, one has one solid, strong, structural member. But in the case of a spine, there are a lot of little pieces, all strung together with connections: ligaments. It also is strong, not as strong as a solid bone perhaps, but it has this added magical quality of being flexible. Structural, yet flexible. It bends. It twists. Yet it also supports.
I think our "hearts" are like this, in recovery. Prior to trauma, we are like the thigh bone, a single heart, solid, one piece. But after our hearts are shattered and put together again with connectors, they are perhaps a bit more vulnerable, but are ever so enhanced in flexibility and sensitivity. Not a great analogy, but what popped to mind, just now.
I feel my broken heart, every day, in recovery. I hurt. I sometimes resent God for "hurting me." And yet I also can sense the beginnings of a richer person, that I could become. A life on an enhanced plane of living. A consciousness better able to connect more deeply, more honestly, more vulnerably with those of importance in my life.
And I think it just may be worth the price, in the end.
-The Traveler
4 comments:
I concur. It just may be worth it in the end.
Your spine analogy made me think of something I read recently:
"For thoughtful, conscious life all creation is precariously contained in a mended cup of meaning. It is the cup from which we drink our lives - the cup with which we drink to life. It is a cup which is broken and mended, broken and mended, over and over again. Each time an era passes, a way of life is destroyed, or someone significant to us dies, we cry out that our cup is broken and so it is, Yet, somehow, - together - we must find, we do find the way to mend it all over again."
This post got me thinking...
There's a theory floating about that we, as spiritual beings, made a sacred agreement to come to this planet and undergo spiritual growth.
It is not the suffering that is necessary, but rather our response to it that determines growth and enlightenment. Our broken hearts challenge us to continue to love in the midst of our pain.
This, I believe is crucial to transformation.
If you ever get a chance, a couple of powerful books I highly recommend are:
"Man's Search for Meaning"
"Left to Tell"
Anyone can respond to hate with hate, or cruelty with cruelty. It is those who rise above this that inspire the rest of us. Our souls are attracted to this energy. And yet, it takes greater strength and determination to sometimes replace hate with love.
As the writer of "Left to Tell", survivor of the Rwandan massacre, said...
"You cannot hate someone who struggles with the truth."
I am inspired by your post.
-BizyLizy
If the world were a perfect place, it would be boring.
If God made us all do His Will, then we would all be robots.
Instead, he gave us all choices... and yes, much of this causes sadness...When a parent CHOOSES to abuse a child.. its not the childs fault.
Ultimately when we have finished this classroom on earth there is eternal life.
God asks us to, "Choose this day, who we will serve."
If we choose to believe in God and accept Jesus as Savour then our eternal life is in Paradise...
Many highly intellegent men have tried to prove the Bible wrong and have concuded, they need to be saved.
The New Testament has the answers. God bless you. Crystal
Awesome post .i hope everybody will like your post
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