I've lost an awful lot of weight, in recovery. And it feels pretty good - healthy.It's gonna take me a while to process through defects - I'm thinking a lifetime. They're like the buttocks or the beer belly of recovery weight, if you ask me.
Resentments are variable, but some of them fall off in big chunks over not too long a period. Others, well...
But one aspect of weight loss goes very quickly: losing that which doesn't belong to me - other people's lives, feelings, choices, consequences, reactions. It reminds me of the chipmunk-cheeks-and-puffy-face and overall-even-layer-of-"insulation"-throughout kind of weight. Just a little loss here, and you look different. Your shape changes.
It's startling to discover how much I have been carrying around, in this lifetime, that isn't actually mine. And how heavy it is. And how, like adipose tissue on a corporeal body, it can strain me and make me prone to illness, to carry this excess weight. And how, if I'm not careful and paying attention, it can creep onto my frame over time, day by day, and accumulate.
I actually own very little, I've discovered. A few items, and when they are whittled down to size, they aren't terribly heavy. Or complex. I'm kinda skinny, under my excess weight. I look forward to getting down to size. To right size. Now that I've lost a bunch, I'm motivated to keep going until I'm trim.
Imagine that.
-The Traveler
3 comments:
I coulda sworn you were working up to the revelation of an epiphany, but to be honest, if the new, lighter touch in your posts is a result of that epiphany, than I like whatever it was.
All the dense philosophizing requires a degree of concentration to follow that was a tad demanding. I find these much less weighty observations about priorities and psychic weight loss rather more manageable and way more readable.
I'm just playing. "Post lite."
Sometimes, I just need to play. It's fun, is why.
Like, I just HAD to have that in-your-face dog put into my banner. Because to me he's fun. If you knew the story of that picture, you'd know he's having great fun. He's not mean; he's smart. He just looks mean, to the casual observer. And that makes me snicker.
Just skip the posts that you can't handle. I'm writing them for me, anyway. To get them out of my head, and make room for fun. This is all a lark, for me. In between my moments of brooooodiness.
I need to do some hunter-gathering, now. Modern-day foraging...
-TT
Yes, BUT, You want comments just like the rest of us. If we didn't want to be read we would be writing diaries instead of blogging.
Which doesn't mean I don't appreciate you pre-forgiveness for not commenting when I feel overwhelmed. But I do enjoy your brain and do want to comment and do want to encourage the fun-having.
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