Games People Play - This One's for You, Boobfruit

Oh, man, I always SUCKED at those. I was the kid who was off on the sidelines, minding my own business, when all the groupies were snickering and plotting. Not in a loser/wallflower sort of way, though. I just always hated social games. I can't even stand wearing a garment with a logo on it.

So it's with great respect for Chris, that I will engage, here. And I don't even know seven bloggers to tag, so forget that part. Plus, I have all sorts of Executive Rules, one of which is I categorically don't forward any chain type things. Maybe this will change, in blogdom, for me, but for now, I bow out of that part. Hey, one out of two isn't bad, for a first effort.

Here are the seven, in the interest of not boring readers with too much ado. The details of the meme are in this link.

Seven things I've learned in Recovery

1. Displacement works. And, it can facilitate healing. Instead of slamming doors, and repressing or ignoring or avoiding something, I'm learning to actively displace it. Take something destructive, or painful, or negative, and actively displace it with something constructive, or joyful, or positive. This can actually be engineered, and it works. I spent a lot of time convincing myself that it wouldn't work, and it was a stupid concept, until I tried it, and it worked. Sort of analogous to surrender. It's a bit counter-intuitive to my instincts.
2. I have many more compulsions than I realized (thank goodness for #1, then). And they're dynamic. I get one taming down, and another pops up, rears its ugly head. Sort of like that arcade game where you whack the gophers. Only thing is, I'm a systems sort, so I want to find the plug, and unplug the power, rather than just stand there and whack heads. I would rather endure pain than spin wheels. I just hate wasting my lifespan. Maybe not unplug, but install a dimmer switch or something.
3. For all our terminal uniqueness, we are basically similar. If you zoom out to the cosmos, we all are about the same size and IQ from that perspective. All of our issues fall within a same realm. We're fairly small. Problem is, we live on the micro-scale, and don't discipline ourselves to look at the forest for the trees. Terminal uniqueness is ubiquitous. Perhaps that is what our souls are, that part of us that we feel unique, that we cling to, as us alone.
4. I had to reject "God" to find God. One of the biggest things for me in recovery is Permission. I have to allow myself Permission to do things that go against my ingrained background, to get past the things that are blocking me. I hold to my own Executive Rules too tightly, and it's holding me back. I need to give up those Executive Rules, because I've ostensibly reliquished being the Executive.
5. I have to learn the concept of God knows best. I thought I understood it, but I still don't. This is particularly pertinent when I see someone go out, all the way out, to the end. I know what I need to do is acknowledge that God is that person's HP and knows what's best for them, even if it means taking them out, and leaving wreckage and pain for all who are left behind in their lives. Damn, that is a hard lesson, and one that I know I need to learn, but haven't yet. I may be faking that one, until I die, not sure I will ever make it. I still think I know a better way, for them. "C'mon, God, do it this way..."
6. I see fear differently, now. I now know it isn't to be avoided, but embraced, even if I don't want to, because it's only through it that I am strengthened and developed. Now I actively think about it, rather than just knee-jerk avoid it, or repress it. Now I try to embrace it, push into it, find the core and lesson.
7. Recovery adds dimension to people. Rather like popcorn in a microwave. A whole lot like popcorn, in a microwave. Think about it.

Probably not much new in there, but, hey, I did it. Under cringe, I might add. Only for you, C.

-The Traveler